Eye problems again, went to an ENT

And have set up a neuro-opthalmologist appointment for Wednesday which I may not need.

The ENT Specialist noted that my nasal cavity is very inflamed and eye problems as I'm describing can be caused by a deep sinus infection or absess in one of the sinuses so I'm going for a CAT scan to determine if one of those is the cause.  Until then, though, I'll impart his recommendation to any nasal sinus sufferers that he recommended sinus flushes such as the Netti Pot.  I use a steroid spray and his recommendation is to separate the two treatments out and do one of those treatments in the morning and one at night (either or).  Makes sense to me and I told him that's what I've been doing. 

OK, so gotta get off the computer as eyes are going.  Oddly, making art isn't usually a problem for me.  I think it's to do with the angle of the eyes (i'm more likely to be looking downward while painting, etc., and looking ahead in computer work and driving -- yes, they occasionally go wonky when I'm at the steering wheel too.) 

I'll be damn glad to get this friggin thing resolved, that's all I know.

Later, gators.

Anniversary of the Iraq War

Wow, hard to believe such a defining moment in my life passed by and I almost forgot about it!  I say defining because as my bio hints, I was a Blue Star mother six times over as my sons - Marine and Soldier - were deployed to Iraq or other war zones in the Middle East.  And my oldest, Kris-the-Marine infantryman, was there for the invasion.  And I made the mistake of becoming way too invested in knowing what was going on.

I was still in college, majoring in Journalism, and had access to all sorts of investigative tools and made it my business to learn all I could about what the U.S. would be up against, what the Marines would be in for.  And I learned the embedded reporters names and when they would file reports, I'd download the transcripts and parse them, sharing them with a few other parents of fellow Marines in Kris' unit.  After that first deployment, I learned.  I learned to detach and accept that no matter what I knew, it would never change things, so for the most part, during Kris' following deployments, I took on the ignorance is bliss mindset. Notso with Pete, my baby.  He'd cringe to hear me say that but I don't think he reads this, so, it's OK.  It was different with him, an armored infantryman.  I wasn't as obsessive about the news as I'd been during that first deployment, but I did set up a google alert "Anbar Province" where he was deployed. 

The thing is, I'm just one of many military families radically effected by the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.  And I'm going on record to say we should never have invaded Iraq, but kept our resources and focus on Afghanistan, providing breathing room to the new government instead of allowing the weeds of radical Taliban renew and retake most of the country as they did.   For a while I was loud, vocal and critical but, like worry, realized it wouldn't get me anywhere. 

So I learned to paint to take my mind off it and to focus on something more life-affirming and positive instead.  And today was a splendid day of painting and creating.  Still, I can't help but be disheartened when I think about the trillions of dollars our country has wasted - yes, wasted (in economics, one learns there are good expenditures and bad - war is one of the most wasteful of all) - on these wars.  Fortunately, my sons came home from war and after some tough times, they're doing pretty well and I'm very proud of both.  Other families, though, are not so fortunate.

Grief Bubbles and Psalms for Sendai

From my post of earlier today, you may have read how moved I've been by the earthquake and devastation in Japan over the past few days.  When I first heard the news, something my brother said stuck with me.  He was posted in Japan twice over the past several decades as a career diplomat and knows the culture very well.  He said the Japanese as a nation celebrate the Cherry blossoms when they arrive not only for the breathtaking beauty of the display, but because of what they symbolize:  the transience of life.

As an artist, I sometimes HAVE NO CHOICE but to process emotional events and occasions.   Often I write. Today, I had to paint.  I bring you "Psalms for Sendai." And yes, this is not just a sweet little picture.  It's loaded with hit-you-over-the-head intentional symbolism which is not subtle at all, sorry about that!

As for the term "grief bubbles" in the title, I borrowed that from a new twitter friend / lovely artist who occasionally tweets about grief bubbles floating up into the great beyond in remembrance while releasing the pain.  I thought it was such a lovely way to express it, I had to borrow it for this post's title.

In closing, even though I've processed some of the sadness that's enveloped me since Friday, I still feel a well of tears inside for the lost and suffering there on the other side of the planet.  My heart aches for those people and for that lovely country I've yet to visit. Still, I draw some consolation, remembering the cherry blossoms that are just about to bloom.

Hurting so for Japan, but painting too

Paris, Je T'aime

I have been watching way too much coverage of the triple disaster in Japan, moved so deeply by the suffering these wonderful people are experiencing right now.   Yesterday I'd had enough and turned my attention to  some works that were incomplete, including these two that I just love.  Homage to romance, by way of the City of Lights.

"French Postcard Love"